The Bawa Muhaiyaddeen Fellowship

Disciple: Every time I feel like I'm going on the right path, it seems that I am always bowled over by grief or sadness. It seems that I am going along okay and then everything explodes.

M. R. Bawa Muhaiyaddeen: Somewhere there is a leak; the water is running out of the pond. There is a leak in the vessel in which you are preserving the water, and it is pouring out. To save the water you must stop that leak.

Disciple: I can't seem to stop it through any outer effort. How can I control it from inside?

M. R. Bawa Muhaiyaddeen: The water is inside. It is not on the outside. The water is within the pond, and the leak is in the supporting wall that surrounds the pond. That is the cause. If it is not repaired, it will break the mind. It will break the life. There is a leak in faith, a leak in iman.

Disciple: That is the reason I came to be with the sheikh.

M. R. Bawa Muhaiyaddeen: All right, then control it.

Disciple: Do you have a pill or something I could swallow?

M. R. Bawa Muhaiyaddeen: Every day I give you such a pill, but you must swallow it correctly. If whiskers grow on your face, you need a barber to shave them. Likewise, if hair grows inside, you need wisdom to shave it. The hair on the outside must be shaved with a very sharp razor. If you sit still, the barber can shave you properly, but if you continually fidget you will be cut. You cannot blame the barber or the razor. The razor's nature is to be sharp, so you cannot blame it. Neither can you blame the barber, for he is doing his job. The person who sits must sit correctly and be careful.

It is like that. Just as you shave your face to make it beautiful, the hair that grows in this mind has to be shaved to make it beautiful. To do so, your faith, certitude, and determination must be strong. Wisdom is very sharp, and you must be very careful when you shave with it. You must have that focus. There must be that point of truth to shave the mind. There should be no doubt, just truth. The hand of truth must hold this knife of wisdom.

Without this certitude, if you shift from side to side, no matter how clear the truth is or how sharp the wisdom is, you will be cut. The fault is not with the truth. The knife of wisdom has a natural sharpness; if your hand trembles that knife may cut you. If the angle changes, it may cut you. So the one who sits must sit correctly. Then the one who shaves can do his work. Wisdom can do its work and make the mind beautiful.

You must sit correctly with that strength. Then the sheikh will sharpen the knife for you. That sharp knife of wisdom will make your mind and heart beautiful. However, if the certitude with which you sit is not strong, you might be cut. This is the sorrow. This is the fault that you have. This is the reason each person experiences sorrow the way he sits is not correct. My love you. Strengthen that. That is the leak in your life.

Take God's section within you. When you go to bathe, do not carry the fire of the world, the sins of the world, or the mind along with you. That fire will be doused by the water, and you will be sad because what you brought was destroyed. Fire cannot last in water. You must use wisdom.

Disciple: Last night I had a dream about a house burning down.

M. R. Bawa Muhaiyaddeen: Do not take that fire and keep it inside the cage of this body. It will burn down this house. That is not good. When you set out to clear yourself do not use fire to help you. Do not take the world or your karma along with you. These are the fires of sin, karma, and hunger. Do not take these with you.

My love you. You must think. The world is the fire that causes suffering to man; it destroys man. All his thoughts are fires. His intentions, desires, his attachment to relationships and bloodties; differences of religion, languages, and colors; love, hunger, old age, disease, death, selfishness, doubt, anger, resentment, and hastiness are all fires. Hypocrisy, ignorance, talking without wisdom, desire for earth, sex, and gold are all fires. There are countless numbers of fires which we are feeding within us. Every day man is being scorched by these flames. There is not a day when he is not being burned by one of these. Attachment to property, livestock, children, house, and wife; arrogance, karma, illusion; tarahan, singhan, suran; lust, anger, miserliness, fanaticism, envy, intoxicants, theft, murder, falsehood-all these are fires in man's life. They are the fires of sin. Every second man is being burned; he is living in this fire. Man's plight is worse than that of the animals. This is hell! Man is suffering in this hell. He shouts, he cries, and then he smiles. One moment he says, "Oh, this is nice and cool," and the next moment he cries, "Oh, this is unbearable!" This is what man has found in life.

The way a true sheikh makes us suffer is not meant to harm us. He makes us suffer to rid us of our bad qualities, to kill the qualities that are feeding these fires. He is not trying to murder you. But when he cuts each one of your bad qualities, you cry, "Aiyo, he is cutting my attachment. Aiyo, my love! Aiyo, my mother, my mother! Aiyo, my grand-father!" You complain as each attachment is being cut. You shout, "Aiyo, my boyfriend is going! My schoolteacher! My house!" It hurts as he cuts them, one by one. You become angry, you feel resentment, you feel hatred, your mind becomes disturbed, and doubt creeps in. This is what happens when the good sheikh douses these fires one by one. I it is not trying to harm you. He is trying to cut your evil qualities. This is his work; he is doing this so that you can have peace.

You are burning in this fire! You think it is good to be in this fire, but it is drinking your blood. You do not understand; this is your ignorance. Use your wisdom to look within. The good sheikh cuts these four hundred trillion, ten thousand spiritual ghosts, spiritual fires, jinns, fairies, heavenly beings, demons, elements, four-legged animals, monkeys, donkeys, rats, peacocks, crows, pigs, dogs, foxes, crocodiles, lizards, chameleons, and reptiles away from you. They all have a hold on you.

My child, consider the armadillo. When an armadillo grabs onto the trunk of an elephant, the elephant cannot breathe. It trumpets and shouts. A foolish elephant will strike its trunk against a tree or a rock in an attempt to free itself, but the more the elephant beats the armadillo, the harder it tightens its hold. It grabs on harder and harder with its claws. The armadillo is very strong, and its arrogant grab hurts.

Now, a wise elephant will start running as soon as the armadillo catches hold. The wise elephant knows there is only one way to free himself. He will run to a pond and stick his trunk into the water. He will keep his trunk submerged so that the armadillo cannot breathe. Now it is the armadillo who has to escape. It will release its hold and quickly run away. Then the elephant will walk away thinking, "Ah, I have escaped!" That is the action of a wise elephant.

Like that, once you know what is grabbing you, submerge it in wisdom, in God, and in truth. Then the evil qualities will leave you and run away. If you keep beating them against earth, fire, water, and illusion, they will hold onto you even more tightly. The more you strike them against attachment, desire, and blood-ties, the firmer they will grab onto you. If you continue to beat them against fanaticism, color, and race, they will hold fast. That is not the solution. Submerge yourself in truth, wisdom, and patience. Reach into these good qualities; then the evil qualities will leave you of their own accord. This is how you must escape. This is how to use your wisdom. This is what a good, true gnana sheikh, a true man, will do.

As he cuts away each section, your mind will feel pained; your attachments and intellect will experience pain and sorrow. All such thoughts will feel hurt. A good sheikh has to cut all this. You must think, "If he makes me suffer, it is only to kill the bad qualities within me and to extinguish this fire. That is why he is doing this." Think of it in this way. Remember that he is extinguishing the fire of karma which is scorching you and causing you to suffer. He is cutting the fire of hunger, the fire of doubt, and the fire of arrogance within you. He is cutting the karma of the five elements within you.

You are enticed by this illusion; you are steeped in it. The sheikh is cutting this. He is cutting the fire of desire. He is cutting your connection to the seventy thousand battalions of monkeys within you. He is cutting the connection to the body, to lust, to your anger, jealousy, envy, and resentment. He is cutting each and every connection. You become involved in things without looking, thinking, or realizing. The sheikh is cutting that tendency. He is cutting such thoughts and the differences of the 'I' and 'you'. As he severs each section it hurts. But wisdom and truth do not experience any pain. It is your mind that experiences pain. Your thoughts feel pain. Desire knows this pain. Your blood attachments suffer this pain. Each time they are cut it hurts, and because of this you find fault with the insan kamil, the true human being.

You must realize that the sheikh's work is to cut these things. He is not doing this for any selfish reason. He is an instrument and you are the gem in his hands. He is cutting you to bring out the original light of the stone. You are a precious gem that came into his hands. He must make that stone valuable and then place it in the treasury. It is in his hands, so he has to do that work. He does not benefit. He has nothing to gain. He makes you valuable and places you where you belong, in the treasury of God's kingdom. When you reach that place, when you attain that clarity, you will appreciate the value of his work. But until such time you will experience pain. The gem feels the pain as it is being cut and faceted, but if this is done in just the right way, later you will realize the great value of that work.

Gurus may give you a mantra and charge you two hundred and fifty dollars. They take your money and say, "All right, stay as you are. Remain the uncut stone that you are," and they leave. The work of a true man is different. There will be pain. It is like an abscess that must be cut so that the pus can be drained. When the abscess is opened, you will experience pain. You should not complain saying, "Oh, he is cutting it open!" He has to lance the infection to drain the pus. You will feel relief when this is done. Whatever the disease, it must be healed. Sores, abscesses, and infections have to be lanced. That is the work of a good sheikh. If each point that hurts is removed, then you will find comfort.

To be cut like this, you have to be with the sheikh for twelve years. It is not a small matter. It is not just a small fire. The fire is burning from the roots right to the top of the tree. The sheikh has to keep cutting away at these qualities of fire, one by one. This takes time. You need twelve years to accomplish this. It is of no use to merely be in his presence. You have to understand, bear up, and surrender. You must say, "Make me well," and offer yourself to be cut. You must have that faith and certitude. You must say, "It is not difficult to endure the heat of this pain. I must get rid of my disease." You must offer yourself with that certitude and determination.

This is the work of insan kamil. It will cause pain, but you must endure. You have to reflect, realize, understand, and bear it up. To do this, you need peacefulness, patience, contentment, and absolute trust. You can avoid feeling this pain only if you have these qualities. You must think, "I have this disease, and now it is being treated. This is why I am feeling pain. But this must be done for me to get well. I have to be cured of this disease." Then bear it up. If that thought and certitude come with in you, the pain will not disturb you, and you will become clear.

There are four hundred trillion, ten thousand diseases. Your thoughts and the fires created by these thoughts must all be cut. This is why you have to stay with a true man for twelve years. However, you must be a child who can bear this pain. You must realize, "This is my disease he is curing. My father is curing me." You must have faith. You must realize, "These fires are burning, and he is healing the wounds within me." If you can bear it with that patience, with that thought, and with that wisdom, it will be easy. Then you will not feel any pain, and one by one you will be rid of your ailments. Point by point you will rid yourself of these bad qualities. Section by section your karma will be cut off. One by one your sins will be cut away. One by one your doubts will be severed. One by one your desires will be cut. One by one all these connections will be cut. Then you will have freedom. You will have peace.

The work of a good sheikh is to rid you of your evil qualities. If these are disposed of, then God's power will come. Then you will be a gem placed in the crown of God, in His kingdom. You will be placed in that treasury. Such is the work of an insan kamil, a true human being.

You must think of this and persevere. He is cutting away your thoughts. You think they are something very precious, so when he cuts them it hurts you. Instead, you must think, "This is something bad that he is cutting away." If you think like that, with patience, then you can endure the pain. Then he will remove the infection, this fire, and you will be comforted. However, if any shred of doubt is present while the sheikh is cutting, that doubt will become a cancer. You must remove all such thoughts. Then you and the sheikh will become one. Then there will be only one.

Each child must think about this. This is not a business. Is there any profit in cutting off a section of one's own body? Your body is the sheikh's body. Your illness is his illness. Your fire is his fire. This is what he is cutting. Two do not exist. The disease is within him, so he is cutting it. You should not see it as two. Your disease and suffering are his, so he is cutting himself. There is no duality. Do not think you are separate. This disease has come within his own body; he is cutting his own body. That is the work of a good sheikh. Because you are within him, you too will feel that pain. Because you have that disease, you will feel the pain. You must think about this.

So much cutting has to be done. When ignorance is cut, it hurts. The tears we shed from the eyes are seen by the world, but no one sees the crying on the inside. What comes from the eyes is water and any man can see those tears. But when you cry inside, it is blood that flows. There are ghosts within that drink your blood. Outside we may see just a small wound, but inside they are drinking the blood. God looks at the blood that is being shed inside, and He cries for that. Truth, God, and the good sheikh see the blood that is shed inside, and they cry. Their work is to cut that section. We have to stop the tears that shed blood. Each child must think about this.

Disciple: How did we get so lucky to be here?

M. R. Bawa Muhaiyaddeen: You must have had a previous connection to God, and that is what brought you here. Just as the seed has a connection to the earth, you have that connection to God, and that is growing within God. Just as a seed sprouts within the earth, you have a point within God. You must have had some truth within you, and that is growing. Some good that you did earlier or recently, or in the womb, or somewhere, some good that you have done has come back. A dot, an atom, a particle has come. There was a depression in the earth and so it was filled with water.

My love you, my child. May God help you.